I ate spag, and I drank Vernors
My hair caught fire from a bunsen burner
I read a lot of books by Alan Dean Foster
Had a girl for a week, but then I lost her
Tried to make the world explode playing Nuclear War
Used my feet instead of hands to open push bar doors

I started watching movies on late-night TV
I shielded my feelings by learning to act mean
I played in my high school's marching band
I really fucking hated marching band
Voted in my first election, and my candidate was skunked
Listened to lots of Brit-pop and to West Coast punk

I learned the Taliban were our friends
Or at least that we were funding them
I biked to the mall just to hang out
Learned to steal car parts as a Boy Scout
Got way into collecting comics
Still kinda into collecting comics

Watched Linnea Quigley shake her ass in a graveyard
Called my friends shit like 'fag' and 'retard'
Joined lots of clubs just to not have to go home
Paid too much to see "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome"
I watched "The Day After" to prepare for when the bombs fell
Unprepared for when the Berlin Wall fell

Played arcade games like Joust and Q-Bert
Max Headroom taught me the perils of blipverts
Played D&D every week with my homies
We were white suburbanites that used the word 'homies'
A friend ran me over when I jumped from his car
Had a Casio keyboard and a Gibson guitar

Hated my life and everyone in it
Was a fucking whiny little shit
No teenager anymore - expected to be dead by now
Not complaining now that I have made this far anyhow
No more teenage atomic zombie
No more teenage atomic zombie
Now I'm a depleted half-life zombie