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The Kaiju

by The Spider Bombs

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"The Kaiju" draws inspiration from songs meant to spark dance crazes as well as from the kaiju films of Toho Studios, which feature guys in rubber suits stomping all over models of buildings. ('Kaiju' being a Japanese word for monsters.)

Why learn to dance like a chicken, when you could be stomping like a kaiju?

[NOTE - Attempting to actually do the Kaiju is an incredibly bad idea that could have a lingering negative effect on your quality of life. Especially if the JSDF start shooting warheads at you. That's a lot of not fun, really.]


When my uncle joined the Peace Corps
He was shipped off to an island
Where the natives did a dance
That he didn't comprehend

He asked if they would teach him it
And show him what to do
He mastered all the steps
Of the dance they called Kaiju

The Kaiju is a crazy dance
It feels much more like a wrestling match
(Don't need a partner
You can dance alone
A toy village to dance upon)
You need a toy village to dance upon

First turn your back and flap your wings
Make a wind fast as a hurricane
Then turn to face your enemy
Drive your forehead into his brain

Drop and lie flat on the ground
Inch along like a giant worm
Spit silk at your foe to hold him still
Roll around as he struggles and squirms

Repeat chorus

Slide across the floor on your tail
Plant your feet on someone's sternum
Let a charge build on your scaly back
Your atomic breath will burn him

You can really do it
It just takes some prac-
Tice, let the power come
From your sacroiliac

Repeat chorus

Well my uncle's plant closed down
Before he could retire
His job prospects in Michigan
Were looking mighty dire

He told my aunt not to worry
He knew just what to do
Sold their house and bought a hut
On the island where he learned Kaiju


released September 30, 2010
"The Kaiju" is written by Sean Frost, who played keyboards and electric ukuleles and emitted noises from his throat.

Recorded and mixed on a Mac mini with Logic Pro.




The Spider Bombs Ann Arbor, Michigan

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